Flirting in English: A guide to finding love

A lesson on English Flirting

With Valentine’s Day just gone, you might be in the mood for love! If so, flirting in English is the skill you will need to know!

They say that love is all you need but is how do you find it in the first place?

What is flirting?

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It all starts with a little look over your shoulder in a crowded place where you catch the eye of the most beautiful person you have ever seen. Once you have exchanged looks, what happens next? First, comes the fun bit of flirting. Flirting is the written or physical actions of a person whilst trying to win the affection of someone.

Step 1: Spot the most beautiful person you have ever seen

But before the chat up lines you need to catch their attention by winking at them or smiling (but not too much or you will look crazy,) slowly walk over to them, making sure you keep eye contact.

Step 2: Use a chat up line

For the rest of life.

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So, how do you start flirting? To begin with, you must compliment them on how they look and make them feel like the most special person ever. To do this, you might use what are known as chat up lines. These are expressions (sometimes funny or cheesy) which help you to start a conversation.

Let’s have a look at some examples:

  1. ‘Is your dad a thief? As he stole the stars and put them in your eyes’
  2. ‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’
  3. ‘If you were a fruit you would be a FINE APPLE’
  4. ‘Excuse me, do you know how much polar bears weigh? Me neither but it’s heavy enough to break the ice’

However, be aware that this doesn’t always work because the other person might just laugh at you!

Step 3: Use body language

After the chat up lines have obviously worked (hopefully!), next show them you’re interested. Buy yourself a drink and ask to sit down next to them. (Do not offer to buy them a drink as that’s not accepted in British culture – unless you are on a date!) If they say no, find another beautiful person and go back to Step 1 in our guide to flirting.

If they say yes, gently playing with your hair is a sign to show you’re interested in them and keep your body facing them. Keep smiling but not too much and keep eye contact. Don’t fold your arms as this looks like you’re not interested and are being defensive.

Step 4: Talk to them

With flirting always ask them questions about their life, laugh at their jokes but don’t talk too much about yourself. The most important thing is to know ‘what’ to ask. Here is some advice:

What to ask: Ask about them, what they do for a job, about their family (brothers and sisters), any hobbies they have and what films and music they like. When they answer, keep eye contact and ask more questions (but try not to interrogate them).

What not to ask: There are some questions that you should never ask. Never ask about someone’s weight, how much someone earns, who they voted for in an election and what religion they are.

Make it look like you’re an amazing listener, even if what they are saying is really boring.

Step 5: What next?

After all this advice on flirting it is up to you to. Laugh at their jokes, make appropriate physical contact and the best advice I can give you is always remember to be yourself.


Thanks our lovely Assistant Director of Studies, Emma from TEG English Southampton for this advice! She must know, she has already found the love of her life 🙂

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